You're The Milk To My Cookies 6

I don't know when it started, how it started or who started it.

I'm just glad it did. I'm happy it happened. I'm happy we're here.

I'm happy.

The day we sat on the couch, not needing to say anything.

I fell for you in our silence.

I'm still falling.

But it doesn't feel like I'm falling- it feels like my heart has wings.

C:

aLLy

Stop Hiding.

image credits to eugnachs@deviantART

I've been searching all over for you. Behind the trees, between the walls, above the trees and underwater. It's time to come out of hiding.

The world is too beautiful. The skies are blue, the sun shines bright, the rain feels fresh, the trees are green, the birds are singing- it'll be a waste if you missed such beauty.

But most importantly, stop hiding.

Because I need you.

aLLy

Today. My Song.

image credits to merrie91@deviantART

I just remembered my form 5 english literature novel: The Pearl and how each character has a "song" and I started thinking if I had a song, what would MY song be?

Well if I had my way, my song would be:

the sound of the city- the sounds of people chatting, buses screeching, children laughing

the sound of the night- quiet and calm

the laughs, shouts, voices of people I call friends

the gentle voices of the people I love

the strong heartbeat I hear when I have my ear right above his heart

the voice that reminds me of the smile I know anywhere

the strumming of guitars

the tapping of keyboards

the scratching of pen on paper

the tapping of heels on paved roads

the drumming of car engines

the gentle whispers of the one who loved me first

the sounds of kisses, hugs and cuddles

the ONE random laugh that makes me laugh as well

the sound of being open and unguarded when I'm with you

the sound of being strong and secure from knowing God

the sound of greatness, faith, and perseverance

the song of ambition

the song of thankfulness for everything

what's your song like?

aLLy

Today. What's in there?

"How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV... the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home... I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office... and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. "

- Ryan Bingham, Up In the Air

I personally thought this was the saddest part in the whole movie. Because he missed out on the most important part of it all- that no one was built to live in isolation.

What's the point of moving so fast when you have no one to enjoy life with? What's the point of living longer when you don't have someone to keep you going? What's the point of living when all you have is you, yourself and nothing else?

Life isn't worth living when you don't have someone to go home to, no one to laugh with you, no one you can call a friend, no one to enjoy success with, no one to go hang out with, no one to cry with.

A lonely life isn't worth living. I'd rather have a heavy backpack that cuts into my shoulder blades, I'd rather walk a little bit slower in life, I'd rather die faster- if it meant that I get to see my children smile at me, if it meant that I'd be able to hold my loved ones hands, if it meant that I get to hear my boyfriend/husband tell me they love me, if it meant that I'd be able to have a girls night out with my girlfriends, if it meant that I get to hang out with my sister.

Because at the end of the day, I want to be remembered as someone who makes an impact in other people's life. I don't want to be remembered for having a successful and lonely life. I want to live on in other people's memories and their stories.

aLLy

Today. Relieve.

image credits to thibanphoto@deviantART

You never know how relieve feels like until you've experienced something stressful and come out of it- alive and unhurt.

It's like a wave that washes over your body sending warmth and a tingly feeling to your fingers and toes. Then a calm that can't be put into words.

Relieve is when you finish an assignment, see the finish report and feel accomplished.

Relieve is coming out of a desperate situation with more good than bad.

Relieve is seeing someone you care about safe and healthy.

Relieve is when you see your files being deleted right before your eyes but remember that you have a backup copy in an e-mail your boyfriend sent to you earlier.

Go figure which really happened.

Thank God- everything is now back in order and the world is spinning right again.

My part done, assignment almost done, studying good. Yup, this is what relieve feels like.

aLLy

Today. Not Strong.

image credits RinNaoki@deviantART

I'm not strong.

Just living by grace and mercy.

but that's enough.

because everyday I live in my weakness,

I'm strengthen by love.

It is love that I am forgiven, love that I am free and love that I am secure.

It is in our weakness that we discover how much of a fighter we really are.

It is in our weakness that we discover who really loves us.

It is in our weakness that we discover that we are strong.

-allyk.

and if all I have is till the day I die,

it's okay as long as I don't have to spend it alone. It's enough as long as I can spend it with you.

All of you.

aLLy

currently listening to Mercy by Casting Crowns.

Today. Some random post.

I'm feeling impulsive.

Usually when this happens, I get myself to a saloon, and do something drastic to my hair. I'm actually thinking about it right now as I type this, but circumstances are different right now, so I'm not doing it. Call it old. I'm no longer a teenager, able to do anything and everything without feeling irresponsible.

Yesterday when I was playing around with my planner, organizing stuff, days, weeks, months, my life in 2010 basically- I couldn't help but feel very much matured. I've come a long way from that little lost girl at 13, when life was all about the drama, the conflicts, the confusion. Where the world was my enemy, my issues were overwhelming.

Today at 21, I'm so much more grounded, so less volatile, so less angry, so much surer about things, so much more to live for. I owe a whole bulk of it to God- the one who taught me everything I needed to know. There's so much we can plan for, but there's only so much that will go according to plan. If there's one thing I learned, bring a life jacket and a float.

If I could write to my 13 year old self, yes, the one that's angry with the world, the one that sometimes wishes God would end her life, the one that can't help but feel a little insecure, a little helpless, a little lost, the one who can't trust, the one who if I know very well wouldn't even listen to me in the first place- I'd tell her to do what she's doing. Make the same mistakes I made, slowly discover herself and just hang in there. As much as it is painful, as much as it is disgustingly difficult- I know that without it, I wouldn't be me today.

And if anything, always remember that God uses the uncomfortable for big things. He uses the weak to reach greatness. He uses the unexpected to reach great heights.

And for the one that is still discovering herself- you'll never stop discovering. I'm still learning things about myself- the way I think, the way I work but it's a journey I'd never want to give up. If I one day know who I am, then what? I never want to reach a "then what" moment.

aLLy

You're The Milk To My Cookies 5

image credits google

Dear you,

There's 3 footprints in the sand now- God's, yours and mine.

I love how you said

"some good things doesn't need to come to an end"

and

I really believe you.

This good thing won't come to an end- or at least not without a fight first.

I promise to not run too far away,

to go as far as two arm lengths C:

Because you're worth it.

Because I want to see you clearer too.

Because it gets cold when you're not around.

We're in this together.

aLLy

PS: and I love you so much I don't care if this is mushy.

and yes, I'm feeling random (: hehe.

Today. I Choose The Stand.

image credits to Miss-Deathwish@deviantART

I choose to stand for the weak, the hurt, the distressed, the lost.

I choose to stand for the different, the outcast, the out of placed.

I choose to stand for the generations and I do not believe that we're a lost cause.

I choose to stand for God's standards and not conform to the worlds.

I choose to stand for living the right way and not bend over to steal, lie and cheat to survive.

I choose to stand for my dreams, my visions, my purpose in life that God has placed in my heart.

I choose to stand for my future and my past because my past is my story and my story makes my future.

I choose to stand for myself and not let society box me in.

I choose the stand. To have my feet firmly planted on the ground. I choose to uphold my standards and my believes. I choose to stand only and only if God stands with me because if God is with me, who can be against me. It's not going to be easy, but it's certainly easier that the worlds. I'd rather have God's burden than the world's burden.

Today I'm reminded that the stand isn't easy. But it's worth it.

aLLy

Today. Excuse Me While I Go Kiss The Sky.

Beautiful day. Sun shining brightly, but not burning hot. Windy but not shivering cold.
No classes, no tutorials. Public Holiday.

3 cars.
Cockle hunting/digging.
Goolwa Beach, South Australia.
The boyfriend, the gentle giant, the superstar and myself in one car.
Tons of laughs, random conversations, weird music, boys being boys, good company, Maccas, and nice scenery.
"Give a man a toy and the little kid in them emerges"

Cockle hunting was interesting.
I wouldn't call it fun, it was interesting.
Dirty, wet and quite satisfying when you get a huge bunch of them cockles.
Cockles = Lala (in cantonese)
Managed to get a whole bucket full.
And an awesome tan (:

7 (i think) awesome cockle dishes. Never in my life have I seen SO MANY lala dishes on one dining table.

and even when there's so many things happening,
I couldn't help but notice you. nyam.

aLLy