Today.

just feels about PERFECT.
Just for this moment, let me enjoy it a little bit longer.

An awesome sister,
Amazing friends,
Cool parents,
No worries, No fears, No regrets,
almost at Equilibrium.

Let me stay like this a little while longer.....
before reality takes me on another ride.

ally

Today. The Start Of The Goodbyes.

Sigh, that time again, goodbyes. And there's nothing worst that leaving other than OTHER people leaving. I'm excited that they've got this WHOLE journey ahead- but also sad. Mixed feelings. Sorry isn't the hardest word, it's goodbye. GOODBYE is far harder than SORRY especially when GOODBYE is said to people you love.

So anyway, on a brighter note, I was watching this show on YOUTUBE called WEIRD FOOD or something like that and it's so funny how this guy ate EVERY weird food around the world but got defeated by a durian. And it's so funny how people get so worked up over it- some go to the extent of saying it's "staged" and what not. Seriously. Sometimes I think people just talk for the sake of talking. How can people judge something like taste? I find it very funny.

I understand how he lost. Because if it was me, I'd puke on the spot. Durians are disgusting, and smelly and mushy. It's yuck. But that's my taste. So yeah, I don't understand why people get so worked up over small issues. I mean energy like that can go to better use like defending the whales or something- instead of defending the durian.

That's what I think anyway.

Oh I've been watching Lie To Me and it's so cool! After watching that show I can't help but look at people differently. It's so cool how expressions don't lie. Especially the split second ones.

ally

Today. The last thing I did....

was have dinner with the sister at Primo and was pleasantly surprised when we found out they had an awesome deal- 2 for one. We're going back for steak next time. Super cheap. Wanted to go get Belgium beer @ the Belgian Beer Cafe, Oostende but decided not too because drinking alone is so sad and I'm not sad.

Watched New Moon with the girls. The movie was better than Twilight and maybe because there wasn't any expectation for this one, it was surprising. I really really loved the cast for the Volturi (hence the poster) because they were exactly how I imagined it to be. Dakota Fanning was awesome- that's what REAL acting is. Kristin should take notes.

Walked to Palace Nova. The cinema had a mess up because of the weather was apparently too hot and the equipment malfunctioned. Yeah- what a story. But hey, if I could crap my way through OB, anything is plausible. So we sat there and waited and waited. But it was fun, we talked about stuff and laughed over things.

Smelly came down from Melbourne. Met up with her and her friends and some of the other Adelaidian's. It was fun- had my favourite Mussels Linguine at Amalfi. I can have that dish everyday for every meal. Yum! Talked, catch up, and laughed about Taylor SAM days. I miss College. Eventhough it was the most busiest- it's also the most fun after form 5. Now I'm 21, how did I get here? haha. I feel old.

Shucks. I stepped out of my apartment and it was crazy. It felt like a Sauna!!! It was soooooo hot- 43 degrees. Apparently the highest was 49 today- I don't know when but the air was really hot AND dry. Rawr. It was crazy- I can feel all my winter load melting away. Maybe it's a good thing. Heh. I still don't like it. And my tan isn't showing itself :(




Woke up today after sleeping for more than 20 hours :D hehehehe. Man, sleep was so awesome, I woke up and saw the mirror and smiled because I was having a look good day. I was glowing- sleep IS good. And I had a good hair day. And I was wearing my favourite Domo-kun t-shirt (yes that one in the picture) so cute!! heheh. I love smiley teeshirts. Sho cute. Opened my cafe world (i'm so addicted to the game) and planned my day. It was going to be a LOOOOONG busy day, but I'm excited because I'm meeting awesome people =b

and for something random, i think this picture is toooo cute! haha.

aLLy
all pictures from google- various sites.

Today. Nothing but Smiles.

I had my first Management paper today and all I can say is that it's going to be the first of many because I ABSO-TOOTING-LY love love LOVE IT! I felt like I was back in College doing my law paper. Words never strung so well together, imagination never felt wilder than ever and the best part was that I was able to write nonsense and make it sound intelligent. This is what exams should be like- not all maths like.

By the end of it my right hand was cramped around my pen, my muscles were hard and it felt good. 9 essays in 3 hours and you know what, I enjoyed all 3 hours of it. In fact I was having so much fun that I had to ask for another booklet. LoL. I must have pissed off the people around me. Seriously, I have no idea half the things I was writing- but I made sure it sounded plausible. Heck, I even made up an organisation, said it was one of the main co's in KL and just crapped. LoL. it was plausible. Then, I even made ME one example to back up a claim I made. LoL.

I really miss all this writing things, and I really am looking forward to many many many more. And yes, I like memorising and making up stuff and just rambling, I mean that's why all my blog posts are THIS long :P haha.

But honestly, I have to thank God because I wasn't expecting this paper to be this much fun. Most of the stuff I read came out and I wished I spent more time memorising it- but thank God He gave me the ability to talk my way out of most things- so that's what I did. I "talked" my way, and I just checked- it's inline with the theories.... eventhough I forgot almost 50% of the theories. LoL. Oh wells.

And yes, when I do exams, I make it sound like I'm blogging as well because I think exams shouldn't be that boring. And I have this philosophy when it comes to essays like this- even when you don't know, just write because any idea that sounds logical will get some marks because this IS NOT MATHS! You don't have to be correct- that's why grey matters are cool when it comes to exams. And when you imaginative skills, and crapping skills, man, you're home sweet home.

But yeah, still praying for my miracle on the other two subs. Sigh, those maths papers give me headaches larr.

oh and yeah, I'm so happy to finally get a full writing paper, I forgot- I'm FREEEEEE! No more exams! hehe. Okay, now, for real, BYE.

aLLy

One FEELING

I will never get comfortable with, EVER.

SCARED. FEAR. TROUBLE. UNCERTAIN.

darn, I'm scared my worst fear will come true this semester.
Suddenly so many what ifs and I should haves come invading my mind.
What if I fail not one but all my subjects? What if I have to retake the WHOLE semester? WHAT if I don't make it through second year? and I should have slept less. Should have eaten less. Should have studied more. Should have been more consistent.

and all I want to do is say GO AWAYYYY!!!! and I WANT MY RESULTS NOW!!!!!

But I still believe in miracles- afterall, last sem was bad and I made it through better than I expected.

Still hanging on.

But SCARED larr. No confindence dot com. Maybe because I expected so much more this semester. Rawr.

aLLy

Good Morning.

I'm my daddy's little girl and will always be his little girl.
Even when I say I want to be a grown up.
It makes me all warm inside.

I'm lucky to have a dad that hold my hand when we walk down the road.
Who would put his arm around my shoulders when it gets cold.
A father who has no problem saying I love you.
Daddy who's always there.

Daddy wrote me a very touching sms.
And suddenly I'm reminded of the little nicknames he gave me.
And the hugs, kisses and bed time story.
And suddenly, he's my hero again. Just for a little while.

Even when we have big fights,
And disagreements,
And times we don't see eye to eye and daddy didn't seem like a hero anymore,
but just ordinary, plain, old joe,

moments like today,
remind me that I'm always daddy's little girl (:

My Sunshine Is Not Your Sunshine (Anymore)
by: Army Barbie
from: darkpoetry.com

I'd sing you a song
If I knew how to string
The words together
A string of pearls found in your heart.
If only
I could find someone
(Or something)
Worthy of your humble eyes.

If I was worthy
I'd pour the rain
Out of cotton candy.pink.clouds.
It would be pure
Color of crystal
You'd open your mouth
And taste the sweet delicacy.
If I was worthy
I'd watercolor a rainbow
To make you smile.

If only I could make you smile...
I'd breathe butterfly wings
And pluck the stars guarding heaven's gates
To make a halo for you.
And I'd lace the halo
With my freckles
Because you've always thought them adorable.

If only you found me sexy
And not so dollishly cute
I'd purr in your lap.
Lap you up.
And hug you for the rest of time.

Oh, if only I could hug you tonight!
I'd show you love.
I'd pour you a heart
Filled with tropical.skittle.kisses.
Smoothie.skittle.kisses if you prefered.

If I were sweet enough
I'd lead you to a candyland
Of hopes and dreams
And feed you sugar canes of love.
Because I love you.

Alas, I am not your's.
My sunshine resides in my sky only.

Been on a poetry run lately- I've had so much fun with the classics: the ones that uses metaphors and analogy, tying emotions to the physical- this were the trickier ones because some of the analogies they used then differs now, and because times have changed, cultural differences etc makes it slightly difficult to get, but that makes the poem more precious- you have to work it out to get it.

I've had fun interpreting the vague- and always get surprised with my interpretations because it always changes depending on my mood. I really enjoy these ones because they're like presents and everyone you open you get a surprise inside. Sort of like Kinder Surprises ;)

I read happy ones, excited ones, marriage ones, birthdays, stories in poem form but one genre really attracts me- the dark twisted ones. The one that talks about death, funerals, break ups- the ones that really understands life, and it's hardships, the ones that have lived- I don't know why really, and I'm not emo or anything- it's just very intense, very real, very raw. And I guess somehow that's me; always the extreme- either extremely nonchalant or extremely worked up.

It's sort of comforting. haha. I know it's supposed to make me want to commit suicide and all the bad stuff people keep talking about and how children should stay away.... but for me.. it's nothing like that. I don't know how to explain it- it's just really nice. But that's just me. If you're the kind who can't watch sad scenes without wanting to go hang yourself, best you stay away.

aLLy

Today. Nothing beats a good shop.

Image credit to Google.

The lil sister and I braved the 40 degree heat and went down to Rundle Mall. Was supposed to stop by the Pharmacy, but ended up at JayJay's too and had a shopping spree. Total damage: 5 meals. But it's all good- shopping is such good therapy.

And I'm well equipped for Summer now- shorts, sleeveless t-shirts- that sort of thing (: Very satisfied. I just found out that there are major changes to be made to my holiday plans here. Because I'll be stuck here alone in December- I can:

a) follow my sister to Cairns and wait for the parents to come join us.
b) wait for the parents to go and meet them a day after their arrival or the day itself and come home before Christmas (original plan)
c) follow my sister to Cairns, meet up with the 'rents, and come home before Christmas.
d) follow sister or wait for parents, and stay on till after Christmas, coming back before Summer School starts.

Sigh, decisions decisions. Part of me thinks I should come back and get out of my comfort zone and learn to live without the familiar faces. Another part of me thinks I should go with the sister- help her settle in and of course, have a short break for myself- afterall, once Summer School starts rolling, there won't be anymore holidays till July because after Summer School there's only 1 week break for the newbies to have their orientation and it's mugging again. Sigh.

So yada yada yada. I don't know what to do. Toss a coin perhaps? But otherwise, things are good. Shopping cured my study blues. Am all motivated to work again.

But before that, I'm taking a 3 hour nap and slugging the whole night away. Talk soon.

aLLy

Today. The Tough Questions Isn't So Tough.

I remember stepping into my first Macroeconomics lecture beginning of this semester and the first thing my lecturer asked the whole class is "Why are you doing Economics?" pretty basic question really, but I don't know why at that time I thought it was a tough one. "Why was I studying Economics?" has always been a trick question. I always thought I LIKED Economics so I studied Economics. Then comes the next question, WHY DID I LIKE Economics? What made Economics so special?

You know how you ask people who love doing what they're doing and they can come up with answers that blow you away? Mine never blew anyone away, it was always "Oh, I like Economics, so I did it. I don't know what I like about it, I just do."

But it's becoming clearer to me why Economics, what makes it special, what drives me. Economics is broad- and trust me there are parts of it that drive me up the wall- stuff like Econometrics, Game Theory, Microeconomics just don't sit well with me. But then, in this BIG mass of knowledge, there's things like Public Policy, Trade Theory, the big topics in Macroeconomics that makes me so excited- it's like meeting my first love, my heart beats extra fast, 2 hours feel like 30 minutes, journals and texts feel like story books and it feels like my boyfriend- I just want to know more and more and more.

And I understand why- Economics explains our world. Our world revolves around Economics and when you understand this world, you can come up with ideas to change our world, to improve our world. See, there's another thing my Macro lecturer said "most of you are doing Economics in hopes to make a change" and at that time I just scoffed because what world change is this guy talking about. I didn't want to change the world- I just want the money. LoL. But after learning Macro and Trade Policy, I have to say, I'm sucked in.

All this while I always had a burden in my heart to make a change. I didn't know how I could, or even where to start. I always thought I had to be a multi-millionaire, influence and then probably donate it or something. But after Economics, it's a little bit clearer- there's the public sector, policy making, EU- stuff like that that CAN bring change. It is certainly not a coincidence that I'm doing something that could lead me to making a change. Of course saying that, I do know that if my life follows this course, then all my plans have once again, just been messed up because never in my life have I planned in going into Economics- like I said, I took Economics because I liked it and nothing else. But after knowing it more better- this is a perfect avenue to get the ball rolling.

I'm not interested in the money anymore. Of course it's an awesome incentive, an amazing reward, but ultimately, I want to do something that would be able to make a difference- that's why I find Economics that interesting. Of course the others being Politics and Law. LoL. See a pattern now?

So yeah. It's funny how it took me this long to realise small things like this. But I guess this is what it means to discover yourself. It's like a small lightbulb just went off inside my head. But it's still pretty dim- I'm waiting for more lighbulbs to go off. Man, I'm so excited!! lol.

aLLy

Today. Going Places.

Image by obliviouslysin @ deviantART

I may not be going back to the place where I came from, to the city I think is beautiful in it's own right. Trust me, it's not the cleanest, it's not the nicest smelling of places, it's not even the greenest of places, and it's certainly not the safest of places thanks to bad government policies and because we're not a welfare state, but it's still beautiful. In this city jungle you can certainly find treasures abundant. It's a place where opportunities are never ending- and I believe that in due time, it'll go beyond race, beyond religion. I used to be one of those people who complain that you need to be of a different race to make it big- I stand corrected. After coming here to Australia, it's just as hard- only that it's not race, it's the stability of the place. Malaysia is still developing, and with development comes opportunities. But I digress.

Yeah, there is no home this year. It's going to be 9 months in Australia, I'm going to experience heat I won't experience back home, attend summer school when everyone will be on holidays, eat Aussie food and maybe hang out in our only beach. Pssht. Maybe get a summer fling... no, not really. haha.

But at least, my parents are nice- they're sending me to Cairns for a holiday(: I can't be any happier because Cairns is PARADISE. (oh yeah, it's a family holiday. lol)

I see myself running around on the beach, soaking up sun, sipping on a tall glass of malibu and pineapple, do some shopping (maybe) and just having the time of my life- because I won't know when I'll be going back, or if I'll ever be going back. Haha. Becuase I've got my eye on Kuala Lumpur in the long run. Yes, I'm coming back or I want to come back one day.

But in the mean time, I'm aiming for Sydney or Melbourne for experience. And if this fails, it'll be KL KL KL and oh, KL. Sigh, the uncertainty. But before I can achieve any of these big dreams, there's a this huge road block called 2 years of Uni. Sigh. But hey, 2 years is enough time for me to do ANYTHING. I'm going to build that rapport up. Gotta start somewhere.

And yes, if I had to choose KL or Adelaide, I'll say neither and stick to my dream of living in LARGE in New York. Pfft. Big Dreams. Big Dreams. I think my parents are praying I get married and settle down soon. LoL. Oh wells. I guess it does make sense. But that's the human me speaking. Let's hope I find the equilibrium for human me and superhuman me soon ;)

aLLy